I guess like, I also feel bad for complaining because I do have a girlfriend that explores kink with me, and it's really really hot and good, but she's not really comfertable getting as gnarly as I'd like to sometimes, and idk how to find people that will not only do that with me, but do that knowing that I'm inexperienced and don't rly know what I want, or even really my own boundaries. Like, That's so much responsibility for someone, I feel like I'd be a burden of sorts.