Hi everyone, I'm gray ace!

Asexuality and ace spectrum identities are often misunderstood, especially, so I'm going to use this thread as an AMA space for as long as I have spoons / questions are respectful

If I don't get questions I'll post a story later :)

@yeenbean Good morning and happy visibility 🙂

What would you say are the biggest misunderstandings, with the general public, with people who are aware of the ace spectrum, etc.?

@zigg Oh I really like this question, though I suspect diff ace folks would answer differently 😅

For the general public, I think the biggest misconception is just even knowing that asexuality exists. It's gotten a lot of attention the past decade or two, but it's still something that I think the average allosexual person, even queer allo folks, haven't heard of



@zigg for folks who are aware of asexuality, I think the two big misconceptions are around language

Probably the biggest one is the idea that asexuals do not experience sexual desire, or have no libido

While that's true for some ace folks, a large number of ace folks do experience sexual desire -- the difference is it isn't "directed" a person or their body

I think the real misconception there is that for many, sexual desire, sexual attraction, and libido mean the same thing


@zigg one of my favorite things about the ace community is that we have painstakingly defined each of those terms so it's clear how they're different, allowing us to describe our identities in a lot of detail

Sexual attraction is feeling sexually interested in a person

Sexual desire is desire to have sex

Libido is your body being turned on

You can have any combination of these things and have consensual sexual relationships, & asexuality is simply the lack of sexual attraction


@zigg the other big misconception I see in folks who are aware of asexuality is that it's an all-or-nothing situation

The idea that folks might have *degrees* of asexuality, just like folks experience degrees of sexual attractiveness, and that there is a full spectrum, or "grayness," to asexuality is something that's missed outright

I feel like this one is really important bc this all or nothing idea prevents a lot of ace folks from understanding themselves, and finding community w/us

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