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Capitalist nihilism (the idea that nothing in life matters, so you should just work as hard as you can until your body fails) has been a constant poison in my life and I am sick and tired of people trying to peddle it to me

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Youtube died as a platform when advertisers realized they could afford to sponsor every youtuber with more than fifty thousand subscribers or whatever

Going from broad but restrictive categories to showing exactly what is in each category has revealed that there is Too Much Stuff

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Worldbuilding conundrum: I have made a very large spreadsheet but it now represents so much information over such a wide area that it is now completely impenetrable

Clumsy? It may appear that way to you, but I am simply training my BONES

*through choking sobs* I... I... I touched grass! There,, I admit it. And I'm ssorry. I didn't tmean for it toturn out this way... I hope you can finnd it it in your hearts to fforgive me

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*youtuber apology format*

Yeah guys I just wanted to say. I'm sorry for disappointing you all like this. This has been a really hard time for me and I'm sorry you had to see me like this. Yeah. I'm sorry to say... My entire life doesn't revolve around social media. Damn. *tears up* I just... I just, I don't know how to say this, but I might even have flaws that aren't inherently marketable to an audience

And, I must establish this, I STILL PLAY MMOs. I'm playing Destiny 2 right now, and I've been on-again-off-again with games like FFXIV for years. At the end of the day, arcades are still fun.

I just want to dispel the illusion that they can't be toxic because they're fun

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The MMO model is designed to be the modern arcade, with the quarters replaced with monthly payments of $14.99 and premium currency. Even the most polished versions of the model (Destiny 2, FFXIV, etc) can't escape from their identity as something designed to whittle away time and eat money

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Something that's hard to communicate when I talk about hating MMOs is that the thing I dislike is the Massively Multiplayer Online part. It's like. Wow yeah that game sure is cool. Could I have that in a not MMO form please so I can actually enjoy it

I am now stretched between "games that were retro when I was five," "games that feel modern despite coming out 10 years ago," and "hey look the game I've been following for like two years finally came out"

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My preferences with games gets increasingly weird the older I get

Man, why can't I fall asleep if I'm so freaking tired?!

I think the most toxic expression of my anxiety is the feeling that I need to do everything "perfectly"-- never waste time, never take time to plan, never have fun, just Do Everything Right on the first try Forever

When I was a baby my grandma would have me eat straight up beeswax and honey out of a jar as a snack. Also, hollow ice cubes, rice crackers, and blueberries

I'm not going anywhere with this it was just a little bizarre

"What was your favorite game as a child"

um obviously it was Desktop Games from gemtree software

I think the idea of the "walking simulator" has poisoned the well on what interactive art is supposed to look like.

When I was like 6, all I had were walking simulators. I didn't know how to do anything. I explored weird worlds made out of abstract shapes. The real world was grainy and harsh, and full of expectations. The digital world was clear and soft and wondrous, and gave me something I could sink into when everything else was overwhelming

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I've sort of longed for a return to the anti-game games of my childhood; the tech demos, the puzzle games that I could never solve, the first hour of Ocarina of Time because I could never beat the first boss... These Experiences that are not games, and maybe weren't even fun, but still represented a 3D digital environment that I could explore.

And the premise that maybe, somewhere, there was More that I simply hadn't discovered.

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Yiff.Life - It's not what you think...

Yiff.Life is oriented towards those in the furry and LGBTQA+ communities.